The Reflections of a Captive Soul
by Bai
Summary: My story is about Lisa Garland.Her soul found no peace and will find none through the destiny that fate has set before her.Damned to care for the child whose wounds never healed,the smell of rotting flesh...(Rest of summary in Chapter) Please R&R.
1. Entries 1,2,3

Disclaimer:  
  
Just to get some things quite clear so you won't be confused. The diary entries of Lisa are my own PRETEND dates so please don't flame me about it. I'm trying to make this story quite realistic, kay? I hope you like it.  
  
Bai  
  
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~|| Lisa Garland- the Reflections of a Captive Soul  
  
  
  
My story is about the Lisa Garland. Her soul found no peace and will find none through the destiny that fate has set for her. Damned to care for the child whose wounds never healed, the smell of rotting flesh and the pus seeping throughout bandages has traumatized Lisa, and her fear reaching it's peak. Sadly, Lisa is also a drug-addict, and it has left a shadow over her, thus her solace will never be found.  
  
In this story, her diary entries express her anguish, insane Dahlia Gillesphie, the feeling of loneliness, and price she must pay for her drug. She's fighting a losing battle, and in the end, she will not only question her sanity, but her very existence. (I know it's sounds cliché =^_^= but it's not!!)  
  
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May 5th  
  
  
  
I have decided to keep a diary since Dr. Kaufmann has assigned me a special position. He didn't tell me just yet as to where, but I'm sure he will tell me soon. I'm really excited, but I've noticed something that I cannot quite grasp right now. Although I seem rather paranoid, Alchemia hospital, actually the whole town, has gotten a lot gloomier since my first arrival in March.  
  
  
  
Everyone seems to be rather depressed and many of the workers in the hospital, and most of the townspeople, have dark shadows under their eyes, like they haven't had sleep in quite a while. I've asked them if they felt all right but they stare off into space as if I'm not there. I've decided not to question their rather grotesque way of living, because I probably won't have to dwell on it once accustomed to the town's mysterious ways.  
  
  
  
I had read the paper recently, and a woman's house caught afire. She lives only two blocks away from my apartment. That saddens me deeply, especially since the woman's child died. However, it was rumored that the woman never shed a single tear or show and mournful behavior at her loss. Her tragic loss must of put her into shock.  
  
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May 7th  
  
  
  
I heard from an acquaintance of mine that she heard sobbing in the basement storeroom. 'That's against hospital regulations though-' I told her, 'We're under orders to never enter the storeroom.' She also told me she smelt burnt flesh, which I thought quite funny, since the morgue was next to it. 'But we never brought in a burnt corpse. I checked with-' but then she stopped abruptly and she wobbled slightly to her left. 'No need to worry. Just dizzy spells.' She looked at me reassuringly, then went into the nearest bathroom.  
  
  
  
I noticed something. Never since I came to Silent Hill to work for the hospital, did I see shadows under her eyes. The same shadows that most of the workers had. I'm getting sorta scared now. She never had dizzy spells. I went straight to her files. I read it for a little while and it read that she has no allergies or any sort of seizures. Or any signs of depression, so I have no other explanations.  
  
I sometimes wonder why I get so worked up about this. Maybe I haven't been sleeping myself. I guess it's the whole towns' case.  
  
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May 11th  
  
I don't remember much of last night. One moment, I'm at my apartment writing, the next.in this strange looking room. How did I get here? I'm in the same clothes as I was wearing( Thank the Lord) I don't know what's going on.  
  
  
  
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The end of chapter One. I'll try to write more. But anyway, Lisa is still unknowing on the 'special assignment'. And she will undoubtedly find out soon. 


	2. Entries 4 and 5

May 12th  
  
I was finally able to find my way out of the dark room I was put in. I stumbled every now and then, then found a door. There was a dim-litted hallway, where right now, I'm staying for the time being. But it's weird. Everything is metal looking, and there are a lot of doors. I went into most of them, but they were all the same. Empty. I also noticed a bump on my head.  
  
I'm confused. How did I get here? I kept thinking, which seemed like for hours.  
But then I discovered there was a hidden door, and I went through it. There was a really narrow hallway. I made my way through it and found yet another door. I opened it. There were medication, bandages, needles, and this unknown substance in white bottles.  
  
I opened one of them and sniffed it. It had a bizarre smell. It smelt like shoe polish, and a mixture of vanilla. I felt sick afterwards. That's when I heard the door open. I hid behind some boxes to discover that Dr. Kaufmann with my friend, Anna.  
  
Then I was in the hospital? I remembered that she always worked at night. I turned toward them.  
  
He closed the door, and she begged him to 'give her Claudia'. Her voice wasn't the same either. It sounded raspy. Then, he told her 'You already know the price.' Anna got her knees and finally I realized what the price was. It was so sickening, watching him touch her body that way. It lasted at least 10 minutes. Kaufmann got dressed and left. It took her awhile, but she too, left. I vomited so much, seeing that mess Kaufmann and she had left.  
  
I was able to regain myself, and I ran out of the hospital. I didn't care if I was caught. All I wanted was to go home and think that this was all a dream. That they hadn't done what they done, and my friend wasn't like this at all.  
  
But then I realized it was all futile. The next morning I woke, the images of that sick pervert and Anna were remembered, and anger flooded through me like fire. What was I to do? If I said anything, it would ruin my friend. But then if I didn't, who knows whom Kaufmann will have his way with next?  
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May 15th  
  
I went back to work three days of brooding. Kaufmann wasn't at work so I could feel safe for the time being. But, neither was Anna. One of the nurses told me that she heard Anna refused to come out of her house, and when Dr. Kaufmann heard this, he merely shrugged and asked that I take over her shift once back.  
  
So, I decided to spend the day sleeping. It felt good to sleep. I wanted to spend forever in my bed. As though a short while, a frantic knock was on my apartment door. When I opened it, Anna's younger sister threw herself in my arms. It took me a long time to calm her, and she was finally able to tell me what was wrong.  
  
Anna had killed herself.  
  
It was if someone had slapped me across the face. At that instant, the anger that was burning so much was all in vain. It was replaced with overwhelming sadness. I knew I couldn't have said something. But I didn't. I was too weak to do anything and the guilt was eating at me. Like the child in my arms, I started to cry. I cried because of the guilt, and for Anna.  
  
Why did have to turn out like this?  
  
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	3. Entries 6 and 7

May 25th

It's been a long time since I was able to get over what had happened and my depression. It confuses me so much. It seems like I haven't left my apartment in a long time, but I have in a way. It's like blurs. At one moment I remember being at the hospital, but then sitting in my living room, things were not all clear.

I don't feel well at all. What's happening to me? It seems that my body is aching. A lot. My chest is burning and my head feels like I have an extremely big hangover. I took my temperature earlier today, and I'm fine. So why do I feel so terrible?

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Melodramatic prose. Oh raging HORROR! Make this end!!

Then maybe--

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--we become the bitter children of what we oppose. No longer endearing to its lack of sincerity. Become more confused more--

--scared. I don't know what's going on at that hospital, I'm going to quit. I don't care whether I don't get that special position or not. I would rather leave then know--_the truth that lies behind it. Why must everything be explained to those whom do not wish to know? The Earth, polluted by the melancholy, insanity, can go on no longer. It will be swept away by none other than our God. And yes, she will bring him out of the depths and will exterminate vermin. Pain will no longer exist. Suffering will no longer exist. Only-- _I don't know what'll happen. 

But, if I tell, what will it do? Will it help? Will it expose--_what will it do to tell? -- _the hospital for what it really is? Can I--_you can't stop what has already begun. Silly woman, with ideas of making a difference_. -- help with the cases of suicide that have been happening frequently? Why can't I concentrate? Has this--_you've been exposed to something that will soon become a habit. You haven't realized it just yet, but in time, you will--_been a sign of something. Something that I can't grasp? 

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Weak with uncertainty. Humans are so easily crushed when their petty fears are acknowledged. I will shape you, Lisa Garland. You will know what real fear can be. To be alone, in your little world, fighting for sanity, when you lost it so long ago. But, no one has really told you. No one in the world is sane. Even if they claim to be. When He comes, he will purify the tainted bodies, annihilating the negative emotions. Lust, pain, depression, bitterness, so many that are to be destroyed.

Disgusting, how the world has shaped so many sick people. Weak people. Just like Eve, who succumbed to the Serpent's seductive ways.

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May 30th

I'm able to think straight now. My head has finally stopped hurting, and my chest feels loose. I'm now able to work without doubt. I spoke to Dr. Kaufmann today, and he says that he's 'glad' to have me back after the terrible ordeal. He wasn't honest. I could tell with the arrogant glint in his eyes. That makes me angry, but at the same time, I feel sympathy for him. He probably doesn't realize how utterly pathetic he really is. Preying on woman like that with his perverse motives. Such apathy is disgusting. 

I won't let him demean me. I will do my duties. Not for him, but for the person that I am going to care for. The only thing is I didn't know my patient's name. I went into Kaufmanns' office to ask. There he was, reading a book, a look of nonchalance on his face. 'What is it?' he asked. 'I'd like to know the name of my patient, sir.' I answered, simply ignoring the grin that was forming on his face. It lasted only a split second, but as Kaufmann spoke, his grin ceased. 'I will tell you tomorrow.' As I turned to walk out, he called 'I'll be looking forward to see you doing Head nurse duties.' I grinned falsely as he did, but when I turned, I pulled a look of distaste. 

Pig. That was the only word that was on my mind about now.

So I waited most of the day. About 10:00 p.m., I returned to hospital. I was a bit creeped out, since barely anyone worked at night. I spotted the janitor, and he waved. I waved back, happy that he was here. If Kaufmann tried to pull anything, he'd be able to hear my screams. So I signed in (Though I didn't need to), and made my way to Kaufmanns' office once more. But as I approached, I heard another voice. So familiar, but I really don't know. I walked towards the door slowly as not to create the clicks of my high-heeled shoes. 'Everything is in place, yes?' a low voice cackled softly. 'Yes.' Kaufmanns' voice answered. There was a rustling of papers. 'I suppose you have someone to care for my daughter? I hope that they are not obsolete, Kaufmann. For there has already been setbacks one too many. After all, we won't be able to bring Him back.'

Him?

'Yes I know, but I got the nurse perfect for the job. However--' he paused briefly. 'She'd probably won't be able to handle the effects of what will happen.' The voice chuckled. 'That's amusing, Kaufmann. Feeling sympathetic towards the poor soul? Or is it just your lust for woman?' Kaufmann didn't answer. 'I see.' The voice continued. I heard the clap of bare feet against the floor. 'Such emotion will be washed away once He is born once more. Samuel will live. He will rid the world of suffering and pain.'

Those same words I heard before. It played through my head like a movie.

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Pain---

Suffering ---

--polluted by melancholy, insanity--

--so easily crushed--

--fighting for sanity--

--so many--

--destroyed--

--bitterness--

--weak---

--Eve who succumbed--------------

I was overwhelming. Was this person I heard the one who is talking? Kaufmann finally spoke. 'Dahlia, I will tell her tomorrow and--' 'It wouldn't whether or not. Because she is standing outside the door. Listening to our conversation.' I froze. When Kaufmann opened the door, his face was pale. 'Did you--' He asked. I shook my head immediately, fear filling me instantaneously. 'Silly girl.' Dahlia's voice came from behind him. I was able to take a glance at her. She looked old. Very old. Her eyes had those same shadows, and her skin looked sallow. Her lips were purple, and a smile was on them. 'I suppose the little girly has heard words, yes?' she asked sweetly. 

I shook my head again. I tried not to blink. 'Well, is it not you who witnessed the act between the woman and this man in the storage room?' Kaufmann fell silent, and so did I. 'How lustful, was it not? The intimacy of it all? How easy to give in to physical longing, yes?' Dahlia asked, only in a somewhat demanding matter. As to ask in a less formal matter, perhaps she was saying 'Have you seen this man make love to your friend, destroy her completely, ridding her body of any pureness she had left? Did this arouse you? Seeing these two proceed without second thought? Then later on, the slut kills herself because her stupidity. Then you are burdened with tears and remorse.'

I couldn't answer any of her questions. My mouth was dry. Then my eyes shifted off of Dahlia's empty eyes, to Kaufmanns' desk. It looked like bags of--cocaine. Kaufmann must have caught my gaze because he was about to open his mouth when I shouted 'It's your fault!' He fell silent again. 'You gave Anna that drug and it messed her up. YOU FUCKING BASTERD!!' I turned and ran down the hallway. That must have been the first time I've cussed. And it felt great; knowing that it left a startled looked on his face. I heard Kaufmanns' footsteps behind me. I was about to run, when his hand grabbed my arm. 'Lisa--' he stammered. I shook his hand of my arm and my anger flared. 'I'M NOT TAKING THIS BULLSHIT, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'M TELLING THE POLICE EVERYTHING! THAT DRUG WAS WHITE CLAUDIA, WASN'T IT? I'LL HAVE YOUR ASS IN JAIL, KAUFFMAN, I SWEAR I WILL! I'LL EXPOSE WHAT THIS HOSPITAL REALLY IS!' When I turned, Dahlia's faint whisper came out of the darkness. 'I don't think so, girly,' 

That's when a big flash of light cascaded from behind me. It hit me. It was like someone slamming my head with a baseball bat. I fell down.

'Poor little lamb.' were the last words I heard before falling unconscious. 

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Hello everyone! Thanks for all the reviews. ^-^ I really appreciate it. This chapter was a bit weird. (Actually, I wrote this chapter while I was in a bad mood to add the creepiness.) And I think it worked out good. If I am in a good mood, I can't write as well, and since I just received a racist comment from a hypocritical little shit, who later complained that people shouldn't make fun of their color, that REALLY pissed me off, so basically, I let my anger go into this writing. Unsettling, no?

Happy Valentines Day!!

(Kinda festive, huh?)

By the way, the italics were for the voices that were in Lisa's head. You remember when she sniffed that substance? That was the White Claudia, but she didn't really know. That's why she has the voices, because since the Claudia was said to influence, I suppose it added something.

p.s. Please review if I made any mistakes. Me am kinda lazy now. .


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